Marriage, Family, and Beyond - Marriage for a Lifetime – The Fabric of Trust

Many people claim to be loyal. But it is hard to find someone who really can be trusted. Proverbs 20:6

Today's thoughts from today's verses:

Many times over the years Pastor Ben has said from the pulpit, “love is unconditional but trust is earned.” Yes, this means that trust is conditional. So much of life is about relationships and in those relationships all of us must prove that we are trustworthy. We all know the pain and trauma that comes from relationships where trust is missing. In marriage it is vital that both spouses can trust each other. We are not just talking about counting on our spouse to be faithful, we are talking about counting on them to uphold all the ideals of marriage.

Don’t we want a marriage where we can count on our spouse to treat us properly. Should not our spouse treasure us - treating us consistently with dignity, respect, kindness, gentleness, and patience? If a person doesn’t treat their spouse properly, they are not trustworthy. Should not our spouse be reliable when it comes to carrying out the responsibilities of life like employment, handling finances, child rearing, etc. This is what courtship is for - to see if a potential marriage partner is trustworthy. If they don’t treat you properly before you get married, they will not treat you properly after you get married. If they are not reliable before you get married, they will not be reliable after you get married. My wife always says, “What you see is what you get.”

Today’s Scripture says, “it is hard to find someone who really can be trusted.” If you are not married hold out for someone you can trust. Even if you love someone you must seriously consider the consequences of marrying someone you cannot trust. At the start of the week we said, “Marriage according to God’s plan has commitment as its foundation.” You will not have a marriage based on mutual commitment if you marry someone who is not trustworthy. The words of commitment spoken by someone who is not trustworthy will not be lived out.

Our passage points out that it is not what someone claims to be that counts but rather what they are. And of course, we want them to be someone who can really be trusted. The Dr. Seuss character, Horton said, “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, an elephant’s word one hundred percent.” Horton the elephant lived out his words of commitment. For those who are married where trust is an issue for either or both spouses, a moment of reckoning is essential, even if it necessitates sitting down with someone who can offer counsel on restoring trust and to whom you can be accountable to as a couple. You have a lot invested in your marriage and getting the help you need can make all the difference in bringing trust back into play and securing a good future for your marriage.

Today's prayer response from today's thoughts:

Lord, I don’t even know where to begin on this one. Show me the way. Restore trust to my marriage. Help my spouse and I to do the hard work of change. Provide the counsel and accountability we need. Lord, I love you, I need you, I trust you, and I surrender to you. May you be glorified. Amen!

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